The 10 Best White Elephant Gifts
Special Honors
Catholic Company Wise Men According to the Christian Bible, Jesus was presented with gold, frankincense, and muhr by the three wise men, and this set aims to commemorate that moment. It's a bit tongue-in-cheek, but its contents are actually worth something, and it would make an equally nice grab bag item for a church group as it would a crowd of devoted atheists. catholiccompany.com
Cleveland Browns Tickets If you have a little bit of money to sink into your present, there are few events more sure to be a disappointment than a Browns game. They're one of the losingest teams in sports history, with only three seasons above .500 in the last 30 years, and just a single playoff win. This gift is even funnier if the recipient lives nowhere near the state of Ohio. clevelandbrowns.com
Editor's Notes
May 18, 2020:
I've been playing a white elephant at every Christmas gathering on my father's side of the family since I was about five, and the only thing more certain than the rules changing every year is that there are bound to be some hilarious gifts. It's important to know your audience here, however, as something like the Wine Condoms wouldn't be as well received in your church group as it would with your close friends.
To that end, this is a deeply personal decision you're going to have to make based on the group with whom you will be playing, but I tried to curate a list of ideas that could offer immediate satisfaction on the night of the party, as well as some use afterward. That's why I got rid of the Thug Kitchen cookbook, as it doesn't offer much in the way of immediate use. I replaced it with Tequila Mockingbird, a book of movie-inspired cocktails that you can make right then and there. It's also why I got rid of the Cards Against Humanity holiday expansion, as there's no guarantee that there will be a base pack there to play with, or that whoever goes home with it even has one.
And while you might argue that the Movie Prop Money Full Print has little use after the gag, it's a fake gift that you can re-gift to your heart's content, so long as everyone who gets it realizes it isn't actual money and doesn't try to go out and spend it.