The 10 Best Plushies For Your Crushies
We spent 23 hours on research, videography, and editing, to review the top picks for this wiki. Usually, a good stuffed animal is a simple and reliable gift option for someone you like romantically. But the right plush toy can also let loved ones know you don't take yourself – or your budding relationship – too seriously. Our selection of plushies for your crushies toes the line between the thoughtfully squeezable and the dangerously weird, so there's something for every personality. When users buy our independently chosen editorial picks, we may earn commissions to support our work. Skip to the best plushies for your crushy on Amazon.
10. Hashtag Collectibles Stuffed Blobfish
The Hashtag Collectibles Stuffed Blobfish may be made in the image of the animal voted world's ugliest creature, but that doesn't mean it's unworthy of your love. If the person you're crushing on is a little less attractive themselves, they'll make a good team.
- very soft polyester
- funny frowning face
- not much of an aphrodisiac
|Rating||3.8 / 5.0|
9. Giant Microbes Sperm Cell
Depending on your gender, you may intend to give your partner a lot more of these in the future, but a Giant Microbes Sperm Cell is a great place to start. It sports a cute little blue bow to remind you of its masculine nature.
- comes with educational material
- on the small side
- no donor information included
|Rating||4.2 / 5.0|
8. CH Girl Poop Emoji Pillow
Make number two your number one present with the CH Girl Poop Emoji Pillow. This adorable stuffed friend is modeled after the female version of one of texting's most popular symbols, and its trusting eyes will warm your heart.
- made from polypropylene cotton
- about 10 centimeters thick
- mistakenly implies that girls poop
|Rating||4.1 / 5.0|
7. Giant Microbes Herpes
More than 60 percent of the world's population under 50 is infected with herpes, so the odds that you're going to either give it to your partner or get it from them are pretty high. Make light of a practically inevitable situation with the Giant Microbes Herpes.
- useful for health education
- makes the disease seem less scary
- will test your relationship's humor
|Rating||4.1 / 5.0|
6. Getime 3D Fish Pattern Pillow
Some animals weren't born to be cuddly, but that doesn't mean you can't get a soft, squishy version of one to love and snuggle with, like the Getime 3D Fish Pattern Pillow. The exterior of this creature is incredibly gentle to the touch.
- made of fine velvet
- can signify a mafia hit
- too big for most home aquariums
|Rating||3.9 / 5.0|
5. MerryMakers Walter The Farting Dog
If the object of your affections has his or her heart set on owning a canine, the MerryMakers Walter The Farting Dog will serve to fill a void and cool the expectation that animal ownership is a breeze. This pup breaks wind every time you hug him.
- adorable blue eyes
- available in 8 and 18 inch sizes
- batteries included
|Rating||4.3 / 5.0|
4. Theodore Roosevelt Little Thinker
The Theodore Roosevelt Little Thinker is a great tool for investigating the political leanings and knowledge of your potential lover. An ironic appreciation of the gift may imply a certain pliability of his or her views, which can be useful if your ideals seldom align.
- classic rough riders outfit
- houndstooth scarf
- excellent conversation starter
|Brand||The Unemployed Philosop|
|Rating||5.0 / 5.0|
3. I Heart Guts Placenta
The I Heart Guts Placenta makes an hilarious gift, as it also implies what may await you and your loved one in the years to come. It even includes an educational booklet that tells you all about the development of this vital organ.
- comes with an umbilical cord
- subtle veiny details
- great idea for pregnant women
|Brand||I Heart Guts Placenta|
|Rating||4.6 / 5.0|
2. Tonsen Skeleton Piggy Bank
If your romantic interest has a hard time saving money, then he or she will love the Tonsen Skeleton Piggy Bank. This stuffed icon of Mexican culture remains soft to the touch, even as he fills up with all of your spare change.
- dollar sign eyes
- plays music and dances
- runs on three aaa batteries
|Rating||4.7 / 5.0|
1. Sparkle Farts Original Farting Unicorn
The Sparkle Farts Original Farting Unicorn is a delight for all genders and ages, simply because the act of passing gas is always funny. The animal itself wears a wry kind of smile that seems to say, "I hope no one knows that was me."
- worried-looking tacos in his lap
- rainbow-colored mane
- also speaks hilarious phrases
|Rating||4.9 / 5.0|