The 10 Best Plushies For Your Crushies

Updated July 30, 2017 by Daniel Imperiale

10 Best Plushies For Your Crushies
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We spent 23 hours on research, videography, and editing, to review the top picks for this wiki. Usually, a good stuffed animal is a simple and reliable gift option for someone you like romantically. But the right plush toy can also let loved ones know you don't take yourself – or your budding relationship – too seriously. Our selection of plushies for your crushies toes the line between the thoughtfully squeezable and the dangerously weird, so there's something for every personality. When users buy our independently chosen editorial picks, we may earn commissions to support our work. Skip to the best plushies for your crushy on Amazon.

10. Hashtag Collectibles Stuffed Blobfish

The Hashtag Collectibles Stuffed Blobfish may be made in the image of the animal voted world's ugliest creature, but that doesn't mean it's unworthy of your love. If the person you're crushing on is a little less attractive themselves, they'll make a good team.
  • very soft polyester
  • funny frowning face
  • not much of an aphrodisiac
Brand Hashtag Collectibles
Model pending
Weight 1.6 ounces
Rating 3.8 / 5.0

9. Giant Microbes Sperm Cell

Depending on your gender, you may intend to give your partner a lot more of these in the future, but a Giant Microbes Sperm Cell is a great place to start. It sports a cute little blue bow to remind you of its masculine nature.
  • comes with educational material
  • on the small side
  • no donor information included
Brand Giant Microbes
Model 874665008202
Weight 0.8 ounces
Rating 4.2 / 5.0

8. CH Girl Poop Emoji Pillow

Make number two your number one present with the CH Girl Poop Emoji Pillow. This adorable stuffed friend is modeled after the female version of one of texting's most popular symbols, and its trusting eyes will warm your heart.
  • made from polypropylene cotton
  • about 10 centimeters thick
  • mistakenly implies that girls poop
Brand CH
Model COMIN18JU050920
Weight 8.8 ounces
Rating 4.1 / 5.0

7. Giant Microbes Herpes

More than 60 percent of the world's population under 50 is infected with herpes, so the odds that you're going to either give it to your partner or get it from them are pretty high. Make light of a practically inevitable situation with the Giant Microbes Herpes.
  • useful for health education
  • makes the disease seem less scary
  • will test your relationship's humor
Brand Giant Microbes
Model 874665004464
Weight 1.4 ounces
Rating 4.1 / 5.0

6. Getime 3D Fish Pattern Pillow

Some animals weren't born to be cuddly, but that doesn't mean you can't get a soft, squishy version of one to love and snuggle with, like the Getime 3D Fish Pattern Pillow. The exterior of this creature is incredibly gentle to the touch.
  • made of fine velvet
  • can signify a mafia hit
  • too big for most home aquariums
Brand Getime
Model pending
Weight pending
Rating 3.9 / 5.0

5. MerryMakers Walter The Farting Dog

If the object of your affections has his or her heart set on owning a canine, the MerryMakers Walter The Farting Dog will serve to fill a void and cool the expectation that animal ownership is a breeze. This pup breaks wind every time you hug him.
  • adorable blue eyes
  • available in 8 and 18 inch sizes
  • batteries included
Brand MerryMakers
Model 1455
Weight 2.4 ounces
Rating 4.3 / 5.0

4. Theodore Roosevelt Little Thinker

The Theodore Roosevelt Little Thinker is a great tool for investigating the political leanings and knowledge of your potential lover. An ironic appreciation of the gift may imply a certain pliability of his or her views, which can be useful if your ideals seldom align.
  • classic rough riders outfit
  • houndstooth scarf
  • excellent conversation starter
Brand The Unemployed Philosop
Model pending
Weight 8.8 ounces
Rating 5.0 / 5.0

3. I Heart Guts Placenta

The I Heart Guts Placenta makes an hilarious gift, as it also implies what may await you and your loved one in the years to come. It even includes an educational booklet that tells you all about the development of this vital organ.
  • comes with an umbilical cord
  • subtle veiny details
  • great idea for pregnant women
Brand I Heart Guts Placenta
Model pending
Weight 1.6 ounces
Rating 4.6 / 5.0

2. Tonsen Skeleton Piggy Bank

If your romantic interest has a hard time saving money, then he or she will love the Tonsen Skeleton Piggy Bank. This stuffed icon of Mexican culture remains soft to the touch, even as he fills up with all of your spare change.
  • dollar sign eyes
  • plays music and dances
  • runs on three aaa batteries
Brand Tonsen
Model pending
Weight 11.4 ounces
Rating 4.7 / 5.0

1. Sparkle Farts Original Farting Unicorn

The Sparkle Farts Original Farting Unicorn is a delight for all genders and ages, simply because the act of passing gas is always funny. The animal itself wears a wry kind of smile that seems to say, "I hope no one knows that was me."
  • worried-looking tacos in his lap
  • rainbow-colored mane
  • also speaks hilarious phrases
Brand Sparkle Farts
Model pending
Weight 14.4 ounces
Rating 4.9 / 5.0

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Last updated on July 30, 2017 by Daniel Imperiale

Daniel is a writer, actor, and director living in Los Angeles, CA. He spent a large portion of his 20s roaming the country in search of new experiences, taking on odd jobs in the strangest places, studying at incredible schools, and making art with empathy and curiosity.

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